Recently, I had a call from one of my good divorced friends who just got the news that his ex was remarrying, asking for some divorce advice.Even though their relationship after the divorce was not that great, it was still quite an emotional blow to him.But much of this too is to avoid the complex array of losses and challenges divorce presents a man.Many of these losses though, are a result men’s typical, if not default, role within marriage of being the financial provider.
In an ideal world, you’d be the one to get in first and have a new man to throw all of your energies into, and if you admit it deep down, you probably wouldn’t mind your ex hearing about how happy you are.
No matter how enlightened we are as a culture, it is still uncommon for men to be the primary caregivers, and women the financial provider.
Despite the security and sense of identity traditional marriages provide, they enable men to neglect the particular areas of personal growth that separation and divorce forced them to face.
Birthdays, holidays, graduations, weddings, and other occasions will be better for everyone if the two of you agree to get along.
Psychologist Shirley Thomas, author of Two Happy Homes: A Working Guide for Parents & Stepparents after Divorce and Remarriage, says the first year after a separation is always the hardest. “It’s unavoidable.” Younger children are especially vulnerable.