) advice and stories, and in honor of my sisters and brothers fighting the good fight, here are my notes from the trenches. If it’s not, then it’s time to move on to something better. Stop inviting the Ghost of Christmas Past to dinner with you, nobody likes a third wheel.
This shouldn’t be difficult, it should be easy to be the best version of yourself around people with whom you spend time. There is a time and place for viewing the skeletons in your closet and unpacking your baggage. Your past has shaped who you are, it has shifted your paradigm and your perspective, but it is neither your present nor your future.
Age is just a number—it only matters when you make it matter.
When I was in my mid-20s, I wanted a guy who drove a nice car and who could afford to take me to a fancy restaurant.
Quite frankly, that applies to being in the relationship iself, too. Maybe it means you have to deal with his neat-freak tendencies, or perhaps you earn more than he does.
Having spent a good year getting reacquainted with myself and my charming set of idiosyncrasies, I recognized the occasion calling for me to stop avoiding male attention and to start practicing the art of social bullshitting again. If it comes let it come, if it stays let it stay, if it goes, well, let it go. If he responds intermittently to you, then yeah, you’re not the only girl in his contact list. Taken from the mouths of our wise elders, “Don’t make someone a priority who treats you like an option.” Seriously.
Be grateful for the opportunities provided, in whatever form they come.
I have created a life so full of fun and friends and work and kids and personal fulfillment that finding time for the average guy was uh, well, not so reasonable—thus the ensuing “search” for Joe Squared commenced. Photo overshares to new acquaintances, by the way, come off as a marketing ploy.
I did, however, learn a lot about myself and my priorities, about the dating process, about other people and that I have an entire closet full of clothes but nothing to wear. Relationships are about bringing out the best in each other, not the worst, and not the person someone else wants you to be. Ask don’t tell, listen more than you talk, and stop sharing your entire life story in the first hour. People earn the privilege of hearing your personal information and story by earning your trust; save it for the right people. Your actions speak louder than your words, and uh, your selfies.